Sunday, January 25, 2009

An Epiphany

Many of my friends have a Facebook profile and they were always telling me I should "get one, too!" I have a MySpace profile and I didn't feel a need to get another profile. However, I started realizing that I was missing out on events and conversations that were being referenced, so I caved and created a Facebook profile.

When I was growing up, I was a complete nerd. I was smart but I was very awkward-looking. My hair is naturally curly and we always lived in areas of high humidity. My parents made me keep my hair short, and with all the moisture in the air, I ended up sporting an Afro from Kindergarten through my freshman year of high school. Not a great look at that time, although I see many kids with them now. Anyway, I was never one of the "cool" kids, in fact, if I was horribly teased and learned to laugh at myself, to avoid the public humiliations from being too severe. Well, I no longer have that Afro. I am no longer the awkward-looking girl.

On Facebook, people register with their real name, supposedly, and I was bored one night (don't judge me, you know you've done it too!) and I searched some names from junior high and high school. What do you know, but the coolest guy from Junior high was there! This is the guy that I let cheat off my science quiz so he would pass the the class. He would talk to me in class, but outside class, acted like I was invisible. Fine. He was the ultimate cool guy, with tight jeans, Van Halen t-shirts, and spiky hair, and don't forget the huge high-top sneakers unlaced. And there he was. And there I was. So I emailed him.

I told him, "you probably don't remember me..." and he responded to add him as one of my friends. I doubt he remembers me, there was no personal note, no "oh yeah..." Whatever, at least now I could see his profile. His pictures of himself. Well, let me just say, the spell was broken. Here he is, 30 years later, aged along with the rest of us, beer-belly and receding hairline. I always imagine dhim married to some tall, gorgeous blonde, but he's not. His profile friends are mostly girls I recognize from junior high. Let's just say, this guy peaked at 13.

One reason I emailed him was so that he could see MY pictures. My handsome husband, my lovely redheads, and my long curly locks. Who knows what he thinks, but I know the name "Afro-turf" and "Bird-Nest" will never apply to me again. I felt like I wanted to prove something to him, but in the end, I bet his pictures proved a lot more to me. I don't need to show my picture to all those bullies and horrible "cool" people from my past. I can be happy with who I am now, resting in the fact that all those past experiences made me who I am today. Just as they made him who he is today. Closure, good for the heart, good for the soul.

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