Don't worry about knowing people; just make yourself worth knowing." -- Unknown
I have so many things going on in my mind that I just can't blog about here. So in an effort to write something every day, as the adage goes, I found some writing prompts to help me out. The quote above caught my attention and so, ahem...
There was a time, a couple years ago, when I went through a Black Summer. It was a time of real soul searching, questioning God, and looking at my life. I came out the other side a much stronger person who finally stopped living solely for the needs of other people. I made the decision to choose things that I wanted to do, things I had always thought I would do, and take some action. Here are some things I did.
I started ordering different food at restaurants. Now, that seems very basic, but when you are in a chicken strip rut, taking that first step and ordering fajitas can be life-changing. I ordered new toppings on my pizza. I tried new sauces on my pasta. I even ordered new dishes of Chinese food and tried some chow mein for the first time. It felt so adventurous! Even the times when I got food I really didn't like, I was still proud of myself for trying something new. A whole new side of my culinary personality opened up at home, too. I started gathering recipes for food I wanted to try, like Thai peanut chicken and fried rice. I may not be a gourmet chef, but through practice I added some new flavor to my repertoire.
I started going to a writer's group. I let my grandmother read some of my writing. She's a published author and has been writing for years, so I respect her opinion. We have great conversations about learning the craft, and she encouraged to find a writer's group. I try to go regularly, but it's really hit and miss right now. I enjoy going to the group if only to glean what is being said about the writing of others, not my own. There are a couple published authors in the group and they really know their stuff. I have learned a lot, mostly that I have so much more to learn. But I chose to go to this group as a way to propel myself into the world of writing. I wouldn't ever call myself a writer, not until I'm published somewhere (anywhere!) but this group is one more step in that direction.
I started reading more books. For a few years, I only read nonfiction. I think I've read every book about being a mother and wife that has been written in the last 10 years. I read a lot more fiction now. I read books that look interesting. I like to judge a book by its cover, sad but true.
I taught myself to knit. This has become one of my greatest passions. When I am knitting, I'm in another world. I can still keep track of what's going on around me, but I get lost in the stitches. I'm knitting dreams and purling reality. I'm counting stitches while I'm saying your name over and over in my mind. I'm creating a pattern and weaving a fantasy of the future. After knitting for a little while, my spirit is settled and relaxed, sleep comes easier, and I find that my worries are lined up in neat rows of yarn left on the needles.
I'm not sure how interesting that makes me to other people, but it makes me more interesting to myself. I'm happy with the person I've become. I just wish I had gotten here sooner.