Last night I went to a wedding shower for a young lady I have known since she was 12, about 10 years. I met her when she was in junior high and got to know her and her family, helped her struggle through her teen years, and now see her on the brink of marriage. I feel old. Ten years ago, I was 26, almost 30 but not close enough to really think about it. Now I'm 36, almost 40, something I think about quite often. Instead of being a young friend of the bride, I was sitting there as the older mentor. Really? Me? I don't feel that old.
I actually won the first game we played, which was a surprise since I usually don't win anything. I should clarify this to say that I don't really try to win. My experience at these kinds of parties is that those women play to win and the prizes are probably not worth the effort. (I won a cute stack of notepaper and a super cute pen tied up with an even more super cute ribbon, though) There is one such ambitious participant at every party. This woman wants to win, must win, will argue until she wins, even a consolation prize. The woman yesterday was competing to win a guessing game of South African vocabulary. Now, come on lady, you don't really know ANY of these terms. None of us do! Is it really worth arguing over one lousy point for a word you think should be the answer even when it's not? And don't you realize that girl over there has a South African boyfriend and is going to win it all anyway? This lady caused quite a scene for that prize of organic brownie mix. It appears she has nothing else to look forward to beyond this shower. Why make such a big deal otherwise? Did I mention she took my cake? Yep. She did.
Now onto the lingerie. I remember being a young bride and having a wedding shower. I recall getting a lot of skimpy lingerie that we all giggled and blushed over. I also remember three months later seeing it all hanging so beautifully in my closet when I shoved it to the back to hang up my clothes for work. See, that's something you don't know when you're that young. There should be a handbook (there probably is but no one told me). Someone should be explaining that the lingerie is pretty and what you expect to get and wear, but ultimately you wear it for about 30 seconds and it ends up in a lovely pile on the floor. And most of it isn't that comfortable to sleep in, either. You end up getting tangled in straps and strings all night. Waking up in that lingerie is not ideal at all. Your hair is messy and your make is worn. No, it's not good. I'm not the only one to know this! My friends say the same thing! I remember that I had to return a cute little number someone had bought for my shower and I was shocked at the cost. It cost over $50! Now that was money that could have been better spent, like on a coffeemaker with all the trimmings. Lingerie is great, I'm sure there are those who will disagree, but it just doesn't stay on long enough to be worth that much money!
Then there is the party aftermath. This is the multitude of feelings you experience by reflecting on your own wedding shower, wedding, and following years of marriage. This can be a great rush if you have had a superb marriage. But let's say you're struggling. This wedding shower could be a big, fat downer. You walk out and think about your life and how it all just didn't turn out the way you thought it would. Just saying.