Monday, August 19, 2013

Monday, Why Do You Hate Me?

Oh, it was definitely Monday. I can't remember my last good Monday, much less great Monday. Add to that it was the first day of homeschool and that's a recipe for a disastrous Monday. Ok, well, it wasn't that bad, but close. A rocky homeschool start, a dreaded event weighing on me, and a very unsatisfying workout. Blah.

My child who was the most excited for school to start ended up being the one who gave me the most trouble. Huh? He's my youngest and now I see that he expects me, and his siblings, to do things as soon as he thinks he can't do it. I told him to cut paper. "I can't," and then he looked at me so expectantly a little red flag immediately went up. I told him to add single-digits. "I can't," and puts his pencil down and looks at me. Hmm. This kid was doing double-digit addition at the end of last year. I told him to cover the piano when he was done practicing. He wrestled with the cover for about a minute and then said, all together now, "I can't," and looked at his sister as he put it down. I gave the order for no one to help him and after struggling alone for a few minutes, he did it.

So, obviously, I am realizing he needs to be pushed to do things on his own. And maybe I need to read a book about youngest children and how to not coddle or baby them. I had a conversation with my daughter about this since she is usually the one on the spot to help him. She just stared at me.

"But, Mom, it's easier for me to do it for him. Sometimes I watch him and it gets so frustrating that I have to do it myself."

My response, "I know. That's when you just have to walk away. Go in the other room until he's done. That's what I did with all of you." True story. And the older two are very capable. We'll see how it goes. I definitely do not want to enable Mr. M or create a monster whose wife will have to mother him. No way.

Today was a tough day. I didn't enjoy my run because I have too much on my mind. I am struggling with an upcoming family event with my in-laws. It's two weeks away and already the back of neck burns when I think about it. Siiiiiigh. If I could get out of it, I would. I'm dreading it, big time. An event like this really drags me down. I am struggling with depression, feeling just the tips of my toes dipping in, and I hate it. I need something to look forward to, something for myself.

I do have one personal appointment this week and that is my Coaches Training on Friday. It's a bit of a drive so I'm looking forward to that. Not many things are better than cold A/C, loud 80's music, and a big fat coffee by my side for a mini road trip on a Friday morning! Plus, my time will be spent with other people who enjoy fitness and being active. That sounds good! I also get my CPR training certificate and I think that will help me get another job in the future.

Tonight I am staying up late to finish a few projects for my shop. It's been too long since I've listed something new. I am working on an afghan for a wedding and that has been my main focus. I have some mini buntings to finish and list. I love the night time hours when everyone is sleeping and I am busy cutting felt and weaving in ends of yarn. I guess that's something to look forward to as well!

How do you pull yourself out of a funk? Or not dwell on negativity churned up by people around you? Counting my blessings is one thing I like to do. I might make an effort to use every one of my senses, too. Like, smell something good, look at beautiful pictures, pet my chihuahua, eat some chocolate, and listen to my favorite music ( 80s, anyone?) Changing my mental state is not easy, but it is worth the effort. Coffee helps, too. Lots of coffee.

1 comment:

  1. quick fixes sometimes help me.....sometimes not...

    walking really helps me the way running does you; so I go for a mega walk when upset....several miles. ....

    Buy yourself a new little candle to burn at night during your ME time

    Get lost in a knit shop/pattern/ravelry for a bit


    give yourself the luxury of sleep : napping can be helpful!